me tired…and dysphoric
hey there!
it’s been some while since my last post :(
I know, I know…I was a bit lazy but fuckin’ countless things were goin on!
Every second day there’s some test in school and most time they stress the shit outa me. It’s a bad excuse but…yeah ^^
so, what was happening? to make it short:
- i got a few bad grades so I got grounded and exactly that day sun came to say hi. all were in summer mood just I wasn’t able to enjoy at all >:(
- so then I was allowed to go out again and I was shoppin in the mall, both hands full of awesome stuff, nice new shirts and shorts to fit…some shop assistant came by, looked at me straightly and remarks ‘women’s section is not here, shall I guide you to it?’ in this annoying falsetto voice. This moment I was completely taken aback and didn’t know what to reply. As I was absolutely quiet he went away with a shrug and left me alone.
i got in the changing cubicle and almost cried, but I blinked back tears and stood up, got to the cashier and nevertheless bougth myself a wonderful light blue billabong shorts. - so I’m really insecure. am I passing in public or not? since this occurrence I’m so damn cautious in public. Again I don’t know which restroom to choose. I’m so confused -.-
- i recently came out to my best friend (again), this time I declared EVERYthing to him, it took my some time. i told him i identify as male since my childhood. he said he could understand me better now and he’ll give a try and do the best possible to support me on my way. but he still defines me as his ‘little sister’. every time he mentions this, a little voice in my head says ‘you already tried twice. let’s give up and jump.’
but i never could. he’s the only one I have and the only one I need and I hope for myself I can stand it some longer.
@my dear best friend: if you read this: DON’T put blame on you. i just love ya <3
i hope ya all have a great time and enjoy life!
with best regards, Jared :)
my best friend chris. he’s a little styler…no just joking :D
he told me i’m not allowed to tell you ;)
but seriously folks: he’s awesome and i kinda love this guy and wanted to share some picture with you :)
my new fire fake plugs
happy buy-it-yourself-if-nobody-else-does-DAY :)
it was 20$ and i was just like woooah awwww NEED THIS! *___*
wazzzup guys?
so heres a picture of me showing my haircut PLUS my new fake plug with this little sweet fire on it *___*
when i put it on first time and my mum noticed it she was a bit angry about me wearing just one, not 2 (as girls do) but i didn’t say really much and let her shout and that was it…
she really gets mad about fckin little things, i dunno…that’s weird…
but i still love my mom
so that’s me ^^
you should know i don’t just wear the beany ‘cause it was terribly cold
i’m wearing it almost all the time…it’s fluffy and make me feel way less feminine what is REALLY important to me ;)
will have a look if any other pictures are availeable that show my hair or even me as a whole ^^
the beginning
hey guys!
i’m new on tumblr and will soon check how all things work ;)
so let me introduce you:
i’m 16 yo, and since i’m 13 i know i’m male inside. i recognice my earlier memories when i had already realised i wasn’t a little girl but thought it’d be okay to act so.
like i played a role. as i grew older i didn’t feel comfortable with my biological gender and began to change my look and my behaving. today half of my friends call me jared and i’m proud of what i managed.
my parents (still living in their house) aren’t that glad about the whole situation…i don’t really know what my dad thinks about me and all this. but my mum is kind of not accepting myself, her own son. first days i bought some shirts with mens cut she shouted a lot at me, same with boxers, same with parfume and so on. but i’m gonna fix it!
so that was me in the main and i’ll upload some pics of me later so u can see me :)
